


Hotaru

by Dylan (Omgeeve3)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Animal Abuse, Animal Death, Cigarettes, Crying, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 11:02:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omgeeve3/pseuds/Dylan
Summary: James brings home a dog named Hotaru.
Kudos: 1





	Hotaru

**Author's Note:**

> WAAHH OKAY I KNOW THE TAGS MAKE IT SOUND REALLY BAD BUT ANYTHING MENTIONING ABUSE IS JUST A BRIEF PASSOVER OF THE PAST AND A PTSD-INDUCED FLASHBACK, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED THOUGH TREAD CAREFULLY; TRIGGER WARNINGS ARE NO JOKE
> 
> Note: takes place in early 2008, a few months before Jeremy and James get into a relationship, so they’re not dating yet but hooooo boy they certainly should be like smh get it together you two hue

“When you called me saying you had a surprise, I was thinking maybe dim sum, not a fucking dog. Our landlord’s gonna have a cow.”

James crossed his arms and made a face at his roommate. “Hey, Hotaru’s a good dog! Didn’t even bark at anything on the way back, responds to commands, and just look at her face!”

Hotaru was, in fact, a very good dog. She was a few months old shiba inu who had just recently been put up for adoption in the nearby pet store, and was full of love from the moment she saw James pass the store.

Jeremy was having a very hard time keeping a serious face. He loved soft and fluffy animals, but he did have to focus on what was important. “Why did you get her?”

“Why?”

“Well, yeah. We’re gonna need something to tell the landlord, I don’t know if they allow pets here or not.”

James thought for a moment. “Actually... that’s kind of a complicated story. I don’t really know for sure myself.” He said, bending down to detach Hotaru from the leash. Jeremy sighed. “Fine. I need to go order some takeout, so you need to think over your story while I go try not to scream into a pillow.” Then he turned heel and left the room, dialing a number on his phone.

It was a complicated story, and James wasn’t sure if he would be able to explain it in a way that made sense. Or if he quite understood it himself. What he knew for sure is that...

“It started with a dog named Annie.” James told Jeremy, now both sitting on the couch, pushing away an empty Chinese takeout box. Jeremy raised one eyebrow but continued chewing his own dinner. “No, hear me out, you’re making that face.” He rolled his eyes.

“Annie was around before I was even born. And once I was, she wouldn’t leave my side. When I started school, the hardest part was leaving her behind. I was anxious all day every day to get back to her. Every day, she was happier to see me than the last. I couldn’t even go to sleep without her on my bed or in my room somewhere. Some days when I would hide away in the bathroom, she would push open the door and lick my face ‘cause it was wet with tears, and I always felt better.”

Jeremy’s brow furrowed, thinking over the information and suddenly making a connection in his mind. He set down his food.

“And then one day, I came home from school, and she was missing. Val- well, not at the time- told me that she’d come home from school and she was gone. We went searching for her for weeks together, putting up posters all over the town. I cried so often, I got bitter in school and at home, and I couldn’t understand what had happened. My mother never made any move to comfort or help us.”

“Whenever was asked her about it, she told us that we should’ve kept a better eye on her...even though she said she would watch over Annie while we were at school. And when we called her out for that, she just told us that it never happened. Every time I got upset that Annie was gone, she would tell me to suck it up and stop being so emotional. She would always blame it on us.”

Jeremy looked at James nervously, dreading whatever might come next. He was looking down at his hands, fidgeting.

“I didn’t find out until later that my mother ran Annie over with the car after she refused to leave my side the previous night when my mom was...” he couldn’t finish the sentence and sniffed. He rubbed his eyes and sighed. “Anyways, Annie wasn’t a shiba, but her fur was similarly colored, s- so when I saw Hotaru pad right up to me in the pet store, I...”

He finished the rest quietly. “I couldn’t just leave her there. Annie was everything to me, so when I lost her, I just... lost part of myself, I guess. So I suppose this is...catharsis?” He bit his lip and leaned against Jeremy’s side. “I’ve never told anyone that before.”

Hotaru trotted over to the two of them sitting on the couch together and whined, lifting her head into James’ lap. He smiled and rubbed behind her ears. “I don’t think I believe in God anymore, but she sure does seem like a miracle, doesn’t she?” James said weakly. Hotaru hopped up onto the couch to readjust, and neither James nor Jeremy objected. The latter was too lost in thought to say anything about it.

“Did she...” he started hesitantly. “Did she hit you?” The sparkle left James’ eyes as did his smile. “A lot more than just that. She... she BURNED my sister and I, with- with the ends of cigarettes, or in my case she dumped boiling water on me in the middle of winter, I ended up in the HOSPITAL for that...and she hit us, she threw things at us, she broke a glass bottle and it left a long scar on my chest when she threw it at me, she- she broke my arm, she gaslit us CONSTANTLY, she always told me everything was my fault, she- I- I just... I....” he trailed off and looked down absently at Hotaru, now nearing sleep on his lap.

Jeremy waited patiently, but a bit concerned. To his perspective, James had seemingly forgotten he was talking and zoned out. But Jeremy was worried that might not be the case. He didn’t speak, unmoving so as to not frighten him, because he was now sinking further against Jeremy’s side. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed, though likely it was only a few seconds, before he heard a soft but frightened cry.

It was difficult for him to get a good look without moving much. However, it didn’t take much to see that James had pressed backwards into the cushions, shaking and clutching Jeremy’s arm. “Hey,” Jeremy started quietly. James looked at him and he could see tears threatening to spill out. Jeremy moved his free hand to caress the other side of James’ face carefully. “She’s not here now. It’s just me and you and Hotaru. She can’t hurt you anymore.”

Hotaru opened her eyes just as a few tears fell across James’ face. She lifted her head and craned her neck to sniff them, then gently licked his face until they were gone. The two of them looked at her in surprise, and James broke. He hid his face in between Jeremy’s arms and the couch as tears he’d been holding back for sixteen years flooded out.

Jeremy whispered words probably only himself could hear towards him, telling him it was okay and to just let it out. Hotaru whined and nosed her way between the two of them, her head halfway on Jeremy’s lap. He smiled at her but continued to comfort his roommate, who still hadn’t let go of his other arm, almost holding on to him for dear life.

Sniffing, James pulled away after what felt like seven minutes. He wipes his face sheepishly. “S-sorry. I- I d-dunno what came over me.” He sucked in his breath shakily and sharply. Jeremy wiped off the wet spot on his hoodie and the couch with his arm. “I don’t mind. You needed that.” Jeremy looked up at him. “You know it’s okay to cry, right? When’s the last time you did?”

James thought for a moment, still rubbing his eyes. “Mm...it stopped a few months after Annie died.”

“So... 1992?”

James giggled ruefully. “You don’t have to say it like that... But uh... yeah, I suppose. I can’t think of anything after that aside from... well, now.”

“You need to cry more often. You realize that’s a 16 year gap?”

“Yeah, yeah...”

Jeremy smiled. “At any rate, are you feeling better?” He asked. “Surprisingly...yeah?” James told him. He wasn’t quite sure, but he didn’t feel like he was in any danger. “Um... Th-thanks for...for that. You’re right, I did need that.”

“No problem...could you...let go of my arm, though?”

James looked down and blushed, letting go quickly. “S-sorry.” Jeremy laughed, resting his head against James’. “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. You are right about one thing, though.”

“What’s that?” He looked up at him, puzzled. Jeremy motioned to Hotaru.

“She is a very good dog.”


End file.
